There are few trials more difficult for parents than to discover that their son has a sexual addiction. Sadly, they most often blame themselves for their son’s misconduct. This is unfortunate but there is much that can be done to help your son. Here are a few of the Do’s and Don’ts to help guide you as a parent.

MOM/ DAD PLEASE DO:

Do not be afraid to talk to him about the addiction.
Come and offer help – don’t wait for him to ask for it.
Check on him every day, but not more unless he asks for it.
Learn about the addiction.
Look for deeper reasons why he is an addict.
Understand how addicting and painful this can be for him and be there for him.
Don’t project your pain or feelings of failure onto him.
Use positive assumptive reminders: “You have probably already remembered to do your dailies or mark you calendar.”
Express worry about the pain (current and future) but not about his ability to win his battles.

MOM/ DAD PLEASE DON’T:

Stop caring.
Freak out when he is brave enough to confide in you.
Blame yourself or feel like it is your fault, because it isn’t.
Try to control the problem, instead listen and help him come up with a plan.
Impose your goals on him — let him set his goals and find out how you can help him achieve them.
Tell him you are disappointed in him— rather focus on his actions to fight instead of his behaviors of failure.
Punish him for lost battles — he has punished himself enough.
Broadcast his problem to other family members or friends or ask him how he is doing when friends or family are present.
Don’t give up on him!

To get more information and resources to help those you care about find the help and healing they need, we invite you to attend the next LoneSTAR Coalition Against Pornography Conference:

“Porn is a human issue—deep in the heart of Texas”

October 19, 2019 9am-2pm

Collin County Community College. Spring Creek Campus, Plano, TX

Jody VanDrimmelen has a Master’s degree in Social Work and is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. She has a private practice working as a Child and Family Therapist in Arlington and Plano. Shortly after opening her private practice in 2012 she found many of her clients and their families were being destroyed by pornography addiction. She has helped with the LCAP conferences in Dallas the past 3 years and continues to work to educate the community and work to restore families affected by pornography addiction.