San Antonio, Texas

As a resident of Texas, I care about the community, my family, and the wellbeing of this state and nation. The technology is constantly changing, there is always a new drug on the streets, but children are always a target. I am writing to you, because I was a child who was hit by both a new drug and new technology; internet pornography. Over the course of 12 years, my childhood turned from innocent to a desperate brokenness that caused harm to me, my family, and my community. Please take from my experience that internet pornography targets children and families to create a sexually broken society.


The actors and actresses are paid too little for the performance and are stuck in a cycle of addiction and drug dependence. The men who watch these films will depend on them to the point of losing their jobs, constantly fantasize, and then escalate into more risky behavior. This then turns into hiring prostitutes, contracting STDs, and then transmitting it to spouses and others. The spouses deal with STDs at worst, and complete inadequacy at best. In the last few decades, we have seen this in an increased divorce rate. The daughters, who are under these men, learn to attract boys by trying to be like the adult actresses. This is causing our daughters to be pressured into sexual acts, receiving STDs, and fall under psychological depressions from the loss. Boys see their father, and look at the same material. From there, the boys are ensnared and are trapped in a psychological cycle of addiction. This starts the process all over again. The marriages are destroyed, the girls are scarred, the actors and actresses are casted away, and the boys continue in their father’s footsteps. The only people who benefit from this are the producers of the material. This is oppression to the entire society. It is also growing at an alarming rate and will destroy the nuclear family structure.


At the age of 10, I stumbled upon my father’s magazine stash. This started a new thinking pattern of what people should do. I threw the magazines away feeling guilty. A few weeks after that, I came across my father’s stash of videos on his computer. If I really want to, I can still recall the videos and pictures that were burned into my memory. From there I had access to websites and video trailers and the thinking pattern continued to build.

Eventually, my parents caught me and tried to reverse the pattern. Unfortunately, it was a 3 year struggle of hide-n- seek with pornography. It started with softcore porn pictures and then escalated into extremes. No boy by the age of 12 should know what an anal creampie from POV is. I was looking for the next new exciting thing, only to receive my fix. There were websites everywhere as long as there was access to the internet. I could simply click on “I Agree” stating that I was 18 years of age, then receive more self-indulgence. By 13, I would spend most of public school sitting there bored, dreaming of porn. Classmates and friends would constantly joke about it and there were softcore pictures all over the internet. What girls were wearing would only spark more imagination about pornography. It was a culture drenched in pornography.


My behaviors continued to escalate. By 15, pretty girls in school looked decent at best. I would come home and then spend hours looking at porn while trying to hide it from my parents. Eventually my parents caught me too many times and gave up. It also went from masturbating once to 3 times a day.


There was nothing that mattered except porn. At one point I masturbated over 7 times in one day. There was extreme burning and there was nothing to ejaculate, but that didn’t matter.

By 16, I tried to stop masturbating and looking at porn, but could not. I would go through massive withdrawals for not looking at porn for a day. Every movie was burned into memory. Out of desperation, I could masturbate by remembering the videos. This struggle to stop looking continues to this day. I have not looked at porn or masturbated in 7 months. By 18, I was looking at personal sites and was wanting to lose my sexual health for pleasure, even if it meant collecting STDs like pokemon. At 19, I met a godly woman who turned my life around and we were married. If she was not my wife, my life would have taken a nasty turn.


When married and trying to abstain from porn and masturbation, I went to a sobriety group that targeted sexual addiction. All of these men have had this same struggle at best for years, and have hit rock bottom at worst. A few of them contracted STDs and then passed them on to the wives and even pregnant wives. Others, had affairs for several years and never told anyone. No matter the circumstance, it all started with pornography. As a man trying to be sober and free from this sexual evil, I can tell you that the struggle is everywhere. In San Antonio alone, there are a dozen sex shops and 3 billboards that display an erotic theme. There’s a softcore themed news article on every news site.

People talk about it all the time. This culture is so saturated in sex, that it is extremely difficult for a man to remain sober for his family. My addiction has caused much harm to my wife. The psychological effects of infidelity are of a PTSD nature. My wife is constantly struggling with PTSD, every time she sees a woman dressed immodestly, to something nasty she comes across on the internet. There are other spouses who struggle with this as well. Of the men in the sobriety group, half of them have been divorced. That’s half a dozen families that cope with custody battles, depression, and a lack of motherly or fatherly love. The girls and boys feel abandoned by their fathers and the women could not trust men from there on. The reason this is happening is because porn escalates.


The biggest concern of pornography is that there are categories that are pushing the boundaries even further. They will have actresses that intentionally look like little girls, there are actresses that are paid to act like they’re getting raped, and actresses that act like the man is in a casual affair. These are growing trends and they are going to change the brain even further. Society is going to become more sexually charged and will be influenced by those categories. Girls are being pressured into the industry, boys are having this pushed in their faces, and marriages are having to face this. It all starts because porn is not protected from little boys.


There are many things that need to be done about this. The ISP can supply a family filtered line, the grocery stores can remove nasty cover pages from the cashier aisles, the harmful effects of porn can be educated to society. The first thing that happens though, is that we need to see that pornography is a problem. It is a problem that oppresses the spouses, the children, the men, the actors/actresses, and prostitutes. The oppressors are the film producers, the ISP, men who continue to live for porn, and society as a whole that exalts sexual destruction.